Spotting Quiz: July 23, 2009

It’s barely 10 A.M. and I’m already having a terrible day. I dislocated my right knee a couple of days and it’s feeling more sore today than it was yesterday. I must have slept crooked or something (or at least done weird gymnastics in my sleep) because my left shoulder's in pain.

I asked for an espresso freddo at the coffee shop and got a cappuccino freddo instead. The crazy bag lady sitting next to me in the metro stank of sweaty oranges, so I changed seats, but, naturally, I could smell the sweaty oranges even more from a distance.

My sister’s off work for a couple of days, so I have to deal with all the silly stuff; today’s Technology Breakdown Day, so I think I’ve slowly been developing a high blood pressure over the course of the last couple of hours and I’ve got another six hours to go.

AND fuckin’ Facebook decided today might be the best possible day to pull maintenance on my profile – who the fuck needs to release stress, huh? Not I! (Pretend my eye’s not twitching. Seriously. I dare you.)

At least, I got a chance to work through five days of neglected RSS feeds, and I came across the following gem.

Can you spot the ten disturbing elements in this picture?

I await your answers!

“(No Subject)”

From: Senator Tawar Wada (tawarwada.office@gmail.com)
Sent: Sunday, July 05, 2009 12:45:01 AM
To:

SENATOR TAWAR WADA
NATIONAL ASSEMBLY COMPLEX
ABUJA, NIGERIA.

Attn

My name is SENATOR TAWAR WADA, Former Chairman of FINANCE AND APPROPRIATION NOW CHAIRMAN ON SENATE COMMITTEE ON INFORMATION in the Senate National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

You can view my information on this is http://www.nassnig.org/senate/members.php?page=7

I am writing you to earnestly Solicit for your assistance in helping to receive some funds into your account for safe investment. I got your e-mail address through an Internet marketing firm while searching for
a reliable and reputable person to handle this transaction.

Details Of Funds

We have the sum of US$29,000,000.00 (Twenty-Nine Million Dollars) that we intend to transfer overseas through the assistance of a foreign partner.This money came as a result of Over provision in the budget for unclaimed pension and accident insurance.This over provision was done by my committee, but all payments have been made to beneficiaries leaving behind the over budgeted amount of US$29,000,000.00 which is deposited in the Nigeria Deposit Bank here in Nigeria.

I have agreed to transfer the funds overseas for my campaign funding and other investment purposes with your help. I am contacting you therefore, to stand in as the beneficiary to process this fund into your custody, As soon as you consent to this I will immediately send you title documents to the fund in your name so you can make claim for it.

I will provide you with 30% for assisting me and 10% to be set aside for reimbursement for any expenses that may arise during the course of concluding the transaction. The fund shall be transferred to you legally in accordance to all laid down procedures governing transfer of funds,I have perfected all modalities for the successful transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary.

Finally, I have to reassure you that this transaction is risk free and should be kept absolutely confidential, Presently you can reach me by return mail, you should also include your telephone numbers if any, for secured communication between us Please send a mail to my mail box to indicate your interest to enable me proceed with the documentation.

Please when replying this mail endeavour to put the following details.Full Name,Full addresses(including state,city,Post) ,24hours phone number and occupation.You can also reach me on my phone number anytime which is below my name.I will send you my personal details and further directive on how to go about this funds transfer when you must have reply this mail

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation. I await your response.

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Esteemed Senator Wada,

I am most honored and exuberant that you have selected my humble personage from among the multitudes of internet users. This opportunity will provide for all my dreams, and those of my children, and my children’s children. Quite possibly even their children, too.

My full name is Blanche Marie Elizabeth Hollingsworth Devereaux and I currently reside at 6151 Richmond Street, Miami, FL. You can reach me at all hours on telephone number (305) 328-7448, and I am the owner of The Golden Palace Hotel.

Yours sincerely,

B. M. E. Deveraux

"Done getting to know myself...‏"

From: Sophia N (ferreira@kernfarm.com)
Sent: Saturday, July 04, 2009 3:39:16 PM
To: a bunch of people

Hi there

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

I like adventures, and enjoy opening new feelings and emotions. I am open-minded and easy going girl. I think I have a strong personality. I have very good family. I am serious, reasonable, and reliable but at the same time I am sociable, friendly and I like to meet new people who can always give me some good advice and share their experience.

I like to read classical and modern literature, I also like going in for different kinds of sport and to teach other people how to keep feet. I am the woman who is able to love all soul! I like nature and the sea, spending time outside. I have diverse interests.

My dream is to meet a nice guy, who I will fall in love with and who will love me back.

Person to have a beautiful and cosy time with.

I am here http://best-only-love.com/great/

Sincerely yourth
Sofy

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Hello there, Thofy!

I was always told that love is like a cheese grater. You stick it on your hand with glue, you practice crazy ninja moves and then I don’t remember how it goes, but it’s pretty cool and ends up in the gory decapitation of your enemies.

You sound like a real catch – you gather all the incredible qualities of a creative Dungeon Master, or at the very least a rookie F-16 pilot. I was always more into Learjets myself, but I found it nigh-impossible to cope with the foot smell. Not to mention the cabbage. O, the cabbage.

I enjoy yoga, margaritas, walks on the beach, full moons, werewolves, and whatever else it is flaky internet chicks are into at the moment. I only keep cats and goats in the house, but I’d really be interested in learning how to keep feet as well, so I think you’re the perfect woman for me.

I’m also willing to love yer back, assuming it’s not hairy, matey. Arr.

Macarron chacarron,

Buglicker

Freudian Fashion

I suspect that certain fashion statements emerge from having too much spare time on one’s hands and knitting equipment lying nearby. Of course, I don’t even know where to start with the aesthetics of the matter.