Suck my swordhilt

The suggestions in advertising are ever-decreasingly discreet.

On an not-so-unrelated note, it appears the futanari content in Metin 2 is pretty happenin'...

Amanda Palmer, "Leeds United"

I love this video, check it out. Don't forget to click on the option to see the video in HQ, in the bottom right corner.

You can find more Amanda Palmer stuff over here, on YouTube, aaand on the album's website.

A-Team

Nostalgic for the 80's cult TV show? Well, much like midgets in dream sequences, I've got good news for you (or perhaps terrible news, depending on where you stand on such matters). As reported by BBC News yesterday:

Ridley Scott to remake The A-Team

Director Ridley Scott has signed up to produce the big screen remake of 1980s TV show The A-Team, according to industry paper Variety.

The film, due out in 2010, will be updated so that the army veterans will have fought in the Middle East and not in Vietnam, Variety adds.

It says Joe Carnahan will direct and hopes to make a "popcorn movie" that "reflects on the real world".

The cult TV show starred George Peppard as Hannibal and Mr T as BA Baracus.

Dirk Benedict, as Face, and Dwight Schultz, as Murdoch, completed the quartet of mercenaries "accused of a crime they didn't commit".

Carnahan said 20th Century Fox had asked him "to make it as emotional, real and accessible as possible without cheesing it up", Variety added.

Actors including Bruce Willis and Ice Cube have been rumoured to be on board but no names have been confirmed.

Geek porn: Athena Hollow's elven rogue

Yeah, there's porn out there to cover pretty much EVERY fetish. Even half-naked, nubile geek girls rolling up elven rogues.

John Updike (March 18, 1932 – January 27, 2009)

I have never listed him as a favorite author or as a major influence in my writing, but now I feel compelled to admit I always admired his writing. He was a prolific craftsman, even stylist of language, and his passing is a loss for the literary world.

Rest in peace, John Updike.

Religion today: January 28, 2009

It's already been a year since Archbishop Christodoulos of Athens passed away. To honor the anniversary, Το ελληνάκι has made the informative post Αιωνία του η μνήμη, which I urge you to read if you've got a handle on Greek. I don't think I could have preserved the memory any better if I tried.

Instead, today's religion watch focuses on Lagos, Nigeria, and the dangers of witchcraft. In an informative Reuters article, it is revealed that a goat has been detained over armed robbery. More specifically:

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.

Hey, if you're gonna believe in virgin births, reincarnation as a slug or flying spaghetti monsters, shapeshifting's not just possible, it's a fact. (Thus spake Nyarlathotep.)

Oh, and here's another hot religious topic over in List of the Day: money messages.

Fail: Candy Store

I half-expect Mo Szyslak to be involved somehow.

"Maya Buttreeks?"

Scar13

Well, this lovely lady posted this photo of hers a couple of days ago on her MySpace profile. Yoinker that I am, I grabbed it and posted it here -- I'm sure one or two people may discover someone new to appreciate in the aftermath.

Of course, if you've got an eye for T3h Pr0n and the cash in your pocket for just such an endeavor, you can always check out her website. (No, I have no personal affiliation with this good lady. The photo just clicked, is all.)

The chicken or the egg?

What came first? Was it Thierry Mugler's fashion fantastic?


Or was it the Van de Graaff electricity generator?



No, I'm not asking seriously. I just have a thing for cheesy head fur today.

Seriously...

...there's nothing I could say about this photo to give it any sort of context. Except, perhaps, "McNosferatu: the Ass Vampire".

It probably explains a lot about the result of the presidential elections.

Palpatine II on YouTube. Dominus!

BBC News reports:

Pope to launch Vatican on YouTube

Pope Benedict XVI is set to have his own dedicated channel on the popular video sharing website, YouTube.

Video and audio footage of his speeches as well as news of the Holy See will be posted on the site, the Vatican says.

Although the Vatican has its own website, the YouTube venture represents its biggest reach into cyberspace, says the BBC's Duncan Kennedy, in Rome.

Officials at the Vatican say it is aimed at everyone from devout Catholics to the casual web browser.

You can find the full story here.

I just have to ask all non-Catholics out there: how bored, exactly, do you have to be to actually watch the Emperor channel?

Cathouse

Satisfied customers = repeat business.

Care for your pet

NOT all bones are suitable for consumption by dogs. Seriously, stop letting your pooch crunch on just anything you don't want on your plate. If you're lucky, it's just gonna hog the toilet for a while.

Practical living tips: Jehova's Witnesses

Don't you just love it when your doorbell rings when you're happily under the covers? I sure do! Especially because my doorbell doesn't even have my name (or any name) on it. It's pretty much a guarantee that merry visitor is eager to solicit something.

Bastages.

What did you do in the Navy, daddy?

Photo by Ευάγγελος. Check out more of his work here.

1. I learned the true use of knots.
2. I held candles.
3. I learned diets can be overrated.

Breakdance, ja!

Why the Axis Lost the War, Reason 1: Fritz just couldn't get his head around the 6-step.

Fail: Hands Free

Image reproduced without permission from FAIL Blog.

Hands free! Now with more hands!

Tubarific!

♪♫♪ Pweep! ♪♫♪

No, I'm not THAT much of a music lover. I'm just yoinking an image from List of the Day about funny and unusual 404 pages found here.

Tootles!

Guantanamo!

(image reproduced from BBC News without permission)

Not for the vanilla!

Seriously, though, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about this whole shutting down Guantanamo thin. And, please please please, the possibly eventually getting the hell outta Cuba thing. (I mean, the U.S. is paying rent cheques the Cuban government isn't cashing in. We love Cuban cigars. Their rum is better than that Bacardi urine. It's just redorkulous.)

...but I'm not holding my breath.

Better safe than sorry

Some things in life can easily be explained...

...such as alcoholism.

Inauguration

Lest we forget that we invariably get what we wish for.

I'm glad Obama won, don't get me wrong, but I'm not excited enough to consider yesterday's Hollywoodesque ceremony justified.

(image reproduced from BBC News without permission)